history
-
Phlogiston vs SCN⁻: The Displaced Flame
Phlogiston (sometimes misrendered as “phlogostin”) was the name given to a fire-like principle in early chemistry, a substance thought to be released during combustion. It was: It was later debunked and replaced by oxygen theory, but the metaphor lingers: phlogiston was the essence of fire, the spirit of combustion, the animating principle. Now, compare that…
-
It’s Time for Another Rousing Edition of “Benevolent Overlords Bestow Blessings Upon the Unworthy Masses”
Today’s phrase of magnanimous condescension: “Everyone deserves a shot!” Isn’t it heartwarming? The sheer generosity of it all! These luminous beings, these paragons of virtue and success, deigning to offer us lowly peons a “shot” at… well, existing, I suppose. Because clearly, we’ve all just been waiting in some cosmic green room, twiddling our thumbs…
-
Some thoughts on medical tyranny
Let us confront the GRAND DELUSION that has befallen our medical establishment! Once bastions of reason, these white-coated charlatans have succumbed to a most pernicious affliction: believing their own balderdash. Gone are the days when a doctor could ponder life’s great mysteries over a fine cigar. No, now we are subjected to the tyranny of…
-
Smoking hysteria has gripped this nation since the 1980s and the people are sicker for it
Kennedy’s dodge about healthcare as a human right during his confirmation hearing, and the entire line of questioning, reveals the intellectual bankruptcy of our nation. The smoking hysteria that’s gripped this nation since the 1980s isn’t just wrong – it’s a full-blown assault on human physiology. Humans are fire creatures. We’ve been burning and inhaling…
-
$50 Federal Minimum Wage Is as American as Apple Pie
HOLD ONTO YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL HATS because I’m about to drop a TRUTH BOMB that’ll shake the very foundations of our economic system! We’ve got CORPORATE PARASITES masquerading as job creators. WELFARE QUEENS in Armani suits have their greedy mitts deep in the public coffers while their workers are left begging for scraps at the welfare…
-
The Constitution doesn’t guarantee the right to obscene profits
Today we confront a CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS of epic proportions. The so-called “minimum wage” has become a MAXIMUM INSULT to the dignity of American workers. And don’t even get me started on the FESTERING WOUND of modern slavery that continues to infect our great nation. It’s time to lance this boil and cauterize it with the…
-
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ECONOMIC LIBERTY!
Today we discuss the ECONOMIC LIBERATION of the American worker. The $50 minimum wage isn’t some pie-in-the-sky liberal fantasy. It’s PURE, UNADULTERATED ECONOMIC FREEDOM! Our Founders didn’t risk their lives and fortunes so we could scrape by on poverty wages. They envisioned a nation of PROSPERITY. Some lily-livered bureaucrats will tell you a $50 minimum…
-
On Matters of Predatory Employment Practices and a Federal Minimum Wage of No Less Than $50
Today we confront a question that strikes at the very foundation of our Republic: whether businesses may profit at the expense of the liberty and dignity of their employees. Let me be unequivocal: NO BUSINESS is entitled to profit by trampling on constitutional guarantees. The proposal for a $50 federal minimum wage is not just…
-
We’re Not Just Tough on Crime, We’re Addicted to It
The 1980s and 1990s were a golden era for those who believe that the path to a just society is paved with prison cells and cheap labor. Let us embark on a journey through this misguided epoch, where the so-called “tough on crime” policies collided spectacularly with the age-old American tradition of exploiting captive labor.…
-
The age-old debate between hard rock and heavy metal
In ancient Egypt, flint was the very essence of divinity. Imagine the god Thoth, with his ibis head and scribe’s palette, his heart not of flesh and blood, but of unyielding flint. This wasn’t just poetic fancy, my friends. It was a testament to the god’s unwavering wisdom and strength. In the land of pharaohs,…